Sacrifice?

Books with Leyla

My blog has been quiet for a while because I went on holidays to Perth, my childhood home and where all my sisters live with their families. I had a great time catching up with family and friends, plus spoke at a different church each of the three Sundays I was there. Something people mentioned several times was how much I’ve sacrificed to be in PNG and ‘Can they send me anything?’ Well, I love what I do and the place where I work. Sure, it has challenges, but so does life anywhere. People speak of sacrifices and I find myself thinking that they’re the ones who are missing out, not me! 

Yet the sense of loss kicked in when it was time for goodbyes. I hugged Leyla goodbye and thought about the fact that she’ll be nearly five instead of nearly three when I next see her. Edan gave me a good night kiss and I wondered if he’d remember my visit, or just a blurry skype face, by the time I’m back in Perth again. I tucked Eva into bed, knowing that she’ll be in full time school in two years, the time until I visit next. I’ll just have to plan my trips around school holidays, even if the tickets cost more. Not seeing my nieces and nephews grow up, not being present in their lives, that is the sacrifice. 

Playing in a fountain with Edan

Saying goodbye to my sisters and friends is hard too, but we can communicate over distance in a different way. Our family has long been full of wanderers, so we’re fairly good at keeping a relationship going over a distance. Thank God for skype!

So it was that I boarded the plane, emotionally and physically exhausted. Hayley, who took me to the airport, was good enough to give me room to cry if I wanted to, but not push it if I chose to hold things together. The thickness of my lisp gave away that I was barely holding things together. 

Flights, airport waits, not enough sleep and I returned to Ukarumpa. I was quickly reminded that this really is my other home now and this really is my other family. The friendliness started at Brisbane airport, where I met up with colleagues returning from the US where they had been to farewell an elderly mother. At the hanger in Port Moresby my pilot was a class mate from orientation. Going to church on Sunday I received big hugs from girls that I’m an ‘Auntie’ to here, plus saw lots of other good friends, some of who had been away for months.

Two of my talented sisters

I live a transient life in a transient place. Away for three weeks, back for two and a bit, away for six, back for another few weeks, then away for two months... meanwhile my friends are doing the same thing and we enjoy the times when our paths happen to cross. I love what I do, yet this transience and the distance from people I care deeply about, is the price tag. It is one I am willing to pay, but sometimes  I pay it with tears.

PS As for the ‘What can we send you?’ question, I have suppliers of chocolate, fabric, dried fruit and nuts in place, but all parcels are joyfully accepted :-)